Spending More Time in a Glass House

I’m back!

After an embarrassingly long delay, and lots of nagging from far-flung corners of the world (namely Sydney, Australia) here’s the next installment of the Northward Leadership blog. Our topic this week is the power of an external perspective , or, more simply stated, why it’s important to talk to an outsider.

Last Thursday, I was sitting in the Costco parking lot, on my cell phone, catching up with Danielle, a rising star in federal service. I was Danielle’s coach while she participated in a year-long, leadership-development program offered by her agency. While I was coaching her, we did some great work together. And after the program finished, our dialogue continued and the friendship endured. We check in every once in a while, and I am also able to track her comings and going on her own blog.

Last week, Danielle was in a career pickle, due to issues beyond her control or outside of her sphere of influence. She was on the verge of making a rash decision about taking on a new job, which, in my opinion, could be a bad move. She and her local board of advisors had explored many different options – none of which, however, was really optimal.

After telling me about her quandary, I offered up a very simple, unique solution that was exactly what she needed to hear to solve her problem. After screaming with delight and calling me a saint, she metaphorically kissed me through the phone and I blushed with pride. “Damn, I’m a brilliant, gifted coach,” I said to myself.

Well, as luminous as Danielle thought I was, the honest truth is that all I did was offer an outsider’s perspective – a viewpoint of someone far away from the inner sanctum of the problematic situation. With no prior history or emotional entanglement, I was able to see something that everyone else missed. Think about it… it’s why we hire a therapist or visit Dr. Phil to get an outsider’s laser insight into something that might be bothering us.

What’s the learning here? If you’re stuck, or need clarity around a seemingly insurmountable issue, TALK TO AN OUTSIDER. Go find someone you'd not usually talk to about this issue and seek their counsel. You may be surprised at the wisdom you'll experience.

So, put yourself into your glass house, open the curtains, and invite your neighbor-who’s-never-seen-you-in-your-bathrobe to peer in.

What was Danielle’s final comment as I made my way into Costco?

"Jeff, you need to update your blog…"